i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't deserve a penis
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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