I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
