The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
