I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
