Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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