I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
