I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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