Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
