i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
