Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
