You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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