you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
