She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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