You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
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