i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
