omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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