the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I forget how to act sober
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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