If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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