i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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