i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
