I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We have so much sex to catch up on
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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