I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
