Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
