And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So vagazzling was a success
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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