Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
