If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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