The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
