one two three fourrrrnication!
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
The air was thick with penises
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
