would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
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