The maid of honor just puked.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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