Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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