she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
bring money and cleavage
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Randomize
