I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
