somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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