i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
