If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
