I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
