i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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