we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
