Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
