you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
The Olympian is in my bed
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
