the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
You are a booty call, not a friend.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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