One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
