so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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