So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
