New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize