The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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