4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
