I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
