I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
